Andy Warhol wanted 'figment' to be written on his tombstone

...or nothing at all. So said the quotation on the wall at an exhibit I went to on Saturday. Quotes are overrated. I'll bet half the time the person is just spewing some offhand spew. Like that stupid "Let them eat cake" which she didn't even say. I guess I like the notion of a quotation as a tiny glimpse into a profound idea but when it's used as some marketable sound bite meant to make the deceased sound all mysterious, it's annoying.

I went to this Warhol exhibit on Saturday, the last day before it moved on to that place that rhymes with vagina (I wish I made that one up but I didn't. It's from a list of the top 5 or however many ways that One Great City! is better than that other place, and the number one reason is that this city's name doesn't rhyme with vagina, but really I think that's a point against us). It was lots of fun; full of portraits I had no idea he'd done. At one point, I thought I was looking at Rod Stewart but then I realised no, it's Barry Manilow. And still no. Turns out it was Wayne Gretzky! That Andy Warhol drew Wayne Gretzky's picture was news to me (as was The Great One's resemblance to Barry Manilow), and this picture was, I'm certain, the actual precursor to all '80s record covers: horrible. The Karen Kain one was even worse.

Not that it sucked. I like Andy Warhol, and it was just an enjoyable day. The gallery was packed and the people-watching was as good as the wall-watching. My favourites were his ballpoint pen sketches from early days and the girl in skinny turquoise jeans - she was from the people-watching part, though she would not have been out of place in that Gretzky print.

At the end of the exhibit there was a little station set up where you could draw your own portrait. I can't draw. I mean, I never try. So I drew me in green pencil. I would maybe have put that up here but I posted it on the wall there.

There were other things going on at the gallery, in particular the Frank Warren Post Secret thing which apparently the whole world knows about but me, so I guess I don't need to go on about it but maybe I will because I thought about it a lot. I think I read every single postcard there. Some stand out, like, I overdress at meetings to compensate for the fact that I have no idea what's going on... no fucking idea. And, I have many close friends and confidantes but I am so lonely. And, I have been in love with my sister-in-law for 40 years. And, it shouldn't be a crime to kill your mother-in-law. And, I'm a 37 year-old single nurse in the maternity ward and I check the ages of the mothers to see if I still have a chance. And, best of all, my friend's band sucks!

Reading these made me feel sad and whatever the opposite of lonely is at the same time (and I'm still laughing about the last one). I guess they are nothing more or less than quotes. Well, nothing less. People thought about these. They are more than snippets of cool-sounding drivel. I hope.