See it in your mind

You should have seen the sky - this morning and tonight, both were beautiful. Must be some ash in the air... and yesterday - one brilliant ray of sunshine punched a hole through the blue-grey clouds. Anyone under it probably had a revelation of some kind or another.

And I remain camera-free.

So how about an old photo again?

Quite unrelated.













La la la la la an interesting tree

And what of that deadline?

So, today is October 22nd and you have been wondering if I have finished that proposal, no? No, indeed, I have not! But that's okay. I had tricked myself into this deadline to ensure it would be finished by the end of the month, which it will be because I have actually been working hard at it rather than letting it fester on my hard drive. Somewhere in the past couple of weeks I picked up a fourth job (let's call them "projects" - I don't want you to think it amounts to working any more than any other normal human), so now I have so much to do that I am back to getting things done, unlike the lazy-ass I had become over the summer. Sigh.

Tell me I'm full of it, full of excuses - that's okay, I can take it! I am on TOP of this thing. I shall keep you posted. Meanwhile, please enjoy this very hilarious and cute video:

In common

B's old roomie came through town and stayed for a couple of days on his way to Toronto and back. By chance, B had planned a trip to Cow Pie and was away for most of his first stay, so it was just roomie and me. When they were living together and B and I first started dating, I was over a lot and I thought some resentment was built up, but maybe that's just in my head. Still, he has remained much more B's friend than mine, so I was expecting a little awkwardness, particularly considering it would just be the two of us. Actually, it was really nice having him here and there was no weirdness whatsoever. I was reminded of how many things we actually have in common, such as reading John Steinbeck books, eating beans on toast, walking fast and playing Scrabble.

One thing we do not have in common is revealed below:

On the first night of his return trip, we went to (what seems to have become) our local (since I am pretty sure we're there all the time) for a bite to eat and a drink. It was raining so I brought an umbrella. When my arm got tired I held it in my left hand. I don't like holding an umbrella in my left hand because it feels like half my body isn't covered. I switch it over to the right to compare and make sure that I'm not imagining it - I am indeed imagining it, but it's a really powerful imagining and makes me feel all off-kilter. I am extremely right-hand dominant so my right side feels like it takes up more space than my left - hence the unbalanced brolly. My left hand is pretty useless - though it is engaged right now in this typing exercise - it's a wonder that the muscles in my left arm haven't atrophied.

When I was a cook, I used both hands, each having very specific jobs. Both hands were equally necessary, but the right hand certainly took care of the more dexterous activities. Towards the end of my "career", I got pretty bored so once in a while I'd switch hands. Sandwiches came out wonky. Productivity slowed. Catastrophe ensued. Not really, but it did work to combat the boredom. At least I always used both hands back then, but I'm pretty sure the umbrella thing was an issue then as well, but I can't really remember because it doesn't rain much in Cow Pie, which is where I lived when I was a cook.

This boredom-relief technique was inspired by my uncle, who is an intellectual. He would write with his left hand to exercise his brain. I haven't tried that in a long time.

It would be nice to be left-handed because that is unusual, and it's nice to be unusual, isn't it? Or even better, ambidextrous! Roomie, it was revealed that night, is virtually ambidextrous. This we do not have in common, so maybe he can hold an umbrella in either hand and feel covered, but I didn't ask.

I bet you thought I was going to tell you some heinous story of how we totally clashed on a major issue of importance! No, I just wanted to see if you ever got that umbrella feeling yourself.

Rural wit

Excerpts from the bathroom wall of the local eatery in a small town in the south of the province:

Fall Courses for Men
All workshops limited to 8 participants due to the complexities of the subject matter

Can a toilet roll change itself? 2 hours. Demonstration and round-table discussion

Do dirty dishes levitate themselves to the kitchen sink? 1 hour. Hands-on workshop followed by debate

The fundamental difference between the laundry hamper and the floor. 2 hours. Slide show and panel discussion

Dealing with loss of identity when you lose the remote to your significant other....

...etc., etc. I was in tears. Not because I think men's domestic incompetence is a reality and I can totally relate (I'm worse at changing the toilet roll, and besides, you just know they had the men's version in their can, likely with the categories of nagging, talking on the phone and taking too long to get ready when you're only going to the grocery store) but it was just so well-worded. I really wish I had a camera so I could just put it all up for you, word-for-word.

Fuck spirited energy

When I was walking home from a meeting on Friday, I saw the funniest thing. A guy was holding his camera up to a building with a big banner hanging from it emblazoned with our provincial slogan and between the banner and the camera was his middle finger.

I laughed. That is just so here. The smirk on his face showed that he wasn't unhappy about the slogan so much as he was excited at the opportunity it offered to do something kind of deviant. Healthy self-deprecation is rampant here. I mean, the Jets barely ever made it out of the playoffs but people were crazy about them. They still are. They lose, but they're ours. They embody our self-deprecation - bond! Party! If the slogan had managed to capture some of that, I think people would be well and truly behind it. Since it didn't, it will happily be used as an inspiration for creative reflection featuring the finger.

Judy & K'naan

This is Judy, looking uncharacteristically relaxed. She's pretty wound-up. You can't just decide to pick her up and pet her - she freaks out. But if you're just sitting somewhere minding your own business, she'll start to gently claw at your thigh and try to hop up onto your lap. Then she'll sit there and purr and you can scratch her neck, but you can't get too embracing because she gets wound up again and jumps off. Showing affection on her terms seems to be her way of being in control. I take what I can get because she doesn't offer it often, but when she sits there, cautiously happy, she is so sweet!

Sorry, I hate the I-love-my-pet thing, but she really is a good one. She was just sitting here, so I thought I'd give her some web exposure and now everything is covered in hair.

What I was going to write about was this: B, k, k's husband and I went to see K'naan the other night. It was at this great venue with the most well-stocked beer fridge I've ever seen - reasonable prices and all. The gig was all ages and normally that means 14-29 or so, but I saw every age from infant to 60+. The people-watching was as good as the show itself, and the show was great. This is the last song he played, which got everyone dancing:



Pretty pixelated, but oh well. You can still see the lovely sunsets.

Avoidance proposal

It is October 1st and I still haven't handed in my thesis proposal. I am trying a new self-imposed deadline. Should I tell you what it is? Will that make me do it lest I have to actually articulate my sorry-ass excuses, such as I had to work 27 hours that one week or I went away somewhere or I couldn't turn off the old you tube, therefore embarrassing myself into finishing the damned thing?

It is October 22nd. 2007.

Meanwhile, I have been reading Into the Wild, which J-Lo (yes, the multi-talented starlet) loaned to me. There are some interesting things coming out of this book. One of them is a quotation by someone called Anthony Storr. It's kind of long so I won't copy it here, but the gist of it is this: a child who expresses avoidance behaviour might develop into an adult who needs to find order and purpose in life that isn't totally dependent on interpersonal relationships. I thought this was really interesting because I've always thought of avoidance as just, well, something to be avoided, that it really served no purpose and one should always work to address things, and people, directly. But to look at it this way is a new concept to me. Maybe someone who avoids things actually just gets more understanding out of solitude. I should remember that the next time I get all confrontational with a certain significant other...

...and with myself! In avoiding my adviser, I find order and purpose in my own thoughts on my proposal. Hmm. No, you shouldn't buy that entirely, but there is a little truth to it.